*Storybook comment* So, I just want to start out by proclaiming my undying love for this. I took a class on Dante’s comedia last semester and the allusions and clever little inserts are just sublime. This introduction is amazingly clever, and the title drew me in immediately. The coverpage sets everything up nicely, giving a real sense of the official courtroom setting you’re going for. Also, notepad theme when it’s notes from an intern – very nice. The introduction is pure genius. Love that the Minotaur is the bailiff, and DA – Dante Alighieri, I see what you did there! Very punny. And Virgil is the judge, classic. I am, however, slightly confused at his speech. The third canto was for souls who aren’t getting into heaven, so is this like the actual gate deciding if they go to Purgatory or not? Because it was my impression when reading Inferno that for those who reach the third canto it’s already too late – no amount of repentance will get them out of it, it’s just a matter of what circle they get stuck in. The comedia does make a big deal about repentance and love but that mainly shows up when Beatrice comes at the end of Purgatorio to take Dante across the Lethe to Heaven. So the theme still works, but I’m just confused because it sounds like Judge Virgil is saying there’s a chance for those who repent to not go into Hell and perhaps move to Purgatory of something when I didn’t get the vibe from the third canto of Inferno at all. Anyway, rambling, sorry. Notes! “With eyelids laden with exhaustion” is a bit repetitive, could cut out the first ‘with’ and just hit it straight off at ‘eyelids’ – make the sentence a bit more active. When one character’s speech lasts for more than one paragraph you don’t need to bracket all of them with quotation marks. You start each paragraph with quotation marks, but only need to end it with quotation marks when the character is finished talking. Ex: “I am talking of none other than that thing that makes no sense because it’s really late. This paragraph isn’t going anywhere. “I mean, I haven’t slept for a while and things are really getting busy and yeah okay, I’ll shut up now.”
First of all, I am huge fan of your theme. Dante's Inferno is one of favorite works of literature of all-time. So, you had my interest from your title alone! I also really like the your idea for sharing these stories. The theme of judgment is prevalent throughout all of Dante's Inferno, so a courtroom is the perfect setting to use for your storytelling. Also, choosing to make the narrator a lowly intern is a really cool idea. I feel like you're going to get a really interesting perspective from that character. I'm sure that intern would be kind of in awe of all the famous characters that he would get to interact with. Your cover page was great too! Where is that photo of Dante Alighieri from? It's a really cool photo, but it might add to your storybook if you had a photo that introduced your theme of the courtroom. Just an idea, because I really like your original photo. After reading your introduction, I'm really intrigued by the potential dialogue between all of your characters. I can't wait to read your stories whenever you get them put up. You last line just completely hooked me: "Court is now in session." Everything looks awesome, keep it up!
Hey Jake, I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you for all of the positive feedback you've left on my blog posts these past 7 weeks. While constructive criticism is always useful, it's nice to have people let you know that they liked a particular story you posted or perhaps something they read on the introduction that sounded interesting or demonstrated a common interest. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a great semester!!
Jake, This is such a cool idea. I've never actually read Dante's Inferno (I know, I am ashamed) but I definitely want to now. Despite not having much prior knowledge, it is still very clear and interesting. It definitely grabbed my attention and made me want to keep reading. I like that you're telling it from an intern's point of view. I think that will give it a really interesting perspective and really help set the tone. I definitely want to keep up with this storybook throughout the semester to see what else you do.
I really like your title page. I like that he is a law intern and your background is a notepad theme, very clever. The font actually reminds me of my friend's handwriting so it makes it more realistic to me and that's pretty cool. I think maybe adding a picture of a courtroom or some sort of law book along with your personal photo would be a nice touch to your overall theme. I love the simplicity of it all and having everything in neutral colors. It's definitely not too busy and distracting.
I think this is going to be a really cool storybook!
Thanks for following my storytelling blog posts and commenting often, Jake! I consider you to be one of the best writers I've read so far in this course so getting compliments from you means a lot! I plan on reading through your storybook and leaving comments in the future, and of course I'm going to keep reading more of your re-tellings as they come. I really love your snappy style and well-crafted prose!
Hello, Jake! I just wanted to thank you for your kind comment on my introduction post. Maybe I'm being a little silly, but what you said ("One of the best compliments I can give a person is to say that they're interesting, and you certainly fit that label.") stuck with me. I consider myself to be a terribly boring person, so hearing that made me really happy. Oh, and my eyes thank you for having the greatest blog theme ever.
I haven't ever actually read "The Divine Comedy", but I plan to read the Dante section in the class at some point in the coming weeks. It should enhance my appreciation for your Storybook more. As it stands, everything on your site still looks excellent. The design looks good, and the content is well-written and creative. The writing itself is of course sharp as always, but in particular your humor in both the Introduction and the first story is top notch. I like how you’ve made good use of your knowledge of Italian to add a bit more of an Italianate flavor to your work. It’s great how you have also pulled from your knowledge of Italian history and politics and flavored your story with those elements. Your mixture of mythological characters with real life individuals and modern concepts is really well done and utilized cleverly and often to very humorous effect. This is no better illustrated than that awesome line about Narcissus taking selfies. Not only is this line absurdly clever in itself, but it’s also a funny commentary on how narcissistic we’ve become as a society (because there’s people out there that do precisely what Narcissus is doing in the courtroom). This is definitely the wittiest Storybook I’ve read so far, and look forward to seeing what new cases await D.A. Alighieri and his pupil.
Hi Jake, First off your site looks very neat and organized, it definitely stands out compared to some of the storybook sites I've been to. Also, the font choice works very well too; oftentimes the more fluid or cursive-like fonts are difficult to read but I had no issues with yours. The only thing I noticed that could be fixed for your site's theme would be to change the text font on the introduction page to match the rest of the site. I had issues with getting all my fonts to match also, the Google sites editing isn't the best. In regards to the actual content of the site, I was very impressed with your writing style. Your word choices and sentence structuring made your storybook easy to jump into and picture your story. Also, your author's note for the first story is very helpful because at first I was a bit lost at some of your political references such as Il Cavaliere or the Obama comment, I guess I need to keep up with politics and such a bit more. Anyway, great job with your storybook and I will definitely be back by to see what else you write.
This week I decided to look over your storybook for one of my extra credit readings. Your cover page is well put together, and when the webpage opens your image immediately caught my eye. I have not read the tale of Dante and the Inferno, but I have always been interested. Needless to say, I am very excited to read what your project has in store!
Your introduction has my asking myself many questions, since I have not read the original tale. Who is the DA, the Judge, the narrator? All things I am looking forward to finding out in your stories. You did a great job in describing the setting and everyone surrounding the narrator. Lastly, I am excited to find out who is this person (or thing?) that is being put on trial.
I really like the court room theme of this storybook. The elements of sin and last judgment are very clever and cool to wrap one's head around. Your author's note cleared up just about every question I had pertaining to the characters and the events of the plot. Good job so far, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Hi Jake! I just have to say, your storybook is absolutely amazing!
First of all, your website looks really good. It is simple and clean. The paper look of your storybook fits your theme of “Notes from Inferno’s Newest Intern.” The font in the introduction does not match the font in the first story, which I’m not sure if you were aware of or not. Personally, I think you should go with the font in the story because it is more consistent with your website, but make it bigger so it is easier to read. I found myself leaning in two inches from my laptop screen trying to read your story.
Second of all, you write very well! I like that you are writing in first person present tense. I feel like I am experiencing the same emotions and thoughts as the narrator as I am reading your storybook. You descriptions give a great imagery of the scenes and you don’t drag on too much about certain details. The dialogue you gave each character is so eloquent and beautiful!
Finally, I love the entire concept you are doing with this story! I only heard about Dante and I never Dante’s work thought about reading it myself. However, I am certainly more inclined to do it after reading your storybook. I love the parallels between your inspiration and your own storybook from the Minotaurs as bailiffs to Virgil as the judge. I also liked how you gave the “corrupt politician” a name and face. Not to mention, the fact that you added Barack Obama into your story. I found hilarious!
Your storybook is great and I will definitely be coming back to read more!
Whoa first of all, I love the layout you used. It definitely reminds me of note taking from an intern and I think the font you chose looks handwritten to so it adds to the overall effect I think you’re going for. Good job on that. I like that you chose the statue and the description particularly because it gives the feeling of the law and court system.
The introduction is written very well. The description of his feelings towards the court and his personal thoughts and actions keep the flow going nicely. I was confused by the judge’s introduction since I wasn’t sure entirely where it was leading to. It leaves me with a cliffhanger in a way.
I’m a bit thrown off by the changes in fonts. The small print is harder to read. The character in this story seems so full of pride and narcissism. I see now where the theme of love from the introduction is introduced in this story. Corrupt politicians and sex scandals are pretty common. Your author’s note is a savior for these stories since it explains a lot more of the background. It really helps explain the connections and how Dante’s Inferno all ties together.
Hi Jake! You weren't in my storybook group, but you title grabbed my attention. Dante's Inferno is probably at the top of the list of thing I find super interesting, but know very little about. Your storybook really made me want to just dive into the Divine Comedy to read more about Dante's Inferno. I think it is absolutely brilliant the way you have approached introducing the different levels of hell - by allowing the narrator to witness the sentencing of different criminals to the various circles. I like the format you used, thought I found the text a little difficult to read. I like the liberties you took with characterizing your first defendant as well as the humor you threw in with both classical and modern allusions - I literally laughed out loud at the part about Narcissus taking selfies in the back. I found your author's note really helpful since I neither know very much about the Divine Comedy or Italy in general. I thought you did a great job of making everything, allusions, Italian phrases, pop culture references, really clear. I'll have to come back and check out your page again once you have some more stories. I can't wait to see who else you'll be sentencing! Keep up the good work!
I'm back again to hear more from Judge Virgil and District Attorney Dante haha. It feels like it has been awhile since I read your introduction, so I went back and read it again. It was just as good the second time as it was the first! It got me excited to read your first story. Let me say, I am really impressed with all of the little political references and Italian sayings that you used. It really seems to me like you are enjoying writing about Dante's Inferno. You even had Dante give his argument in verse, which I didn't even notice until you pointed it out in your Author's Note. All in all, I'm really impressed by your writing style. I guess if I were to change anything, it would be the font. Though it gives a certain Renaissance vibe to the story, it was a little difficult to read. I might go to something typewriter-esque, because I think it would be a little easier to read, and I think it would go well with your courtroom theme. It's completely up to you though, it's just a thought! Great stuff man. I'm sure I'll be back again to read more about those hellish punishments.
I think you’ve got a really intriguing storybook topic. I’ve read Dante’s Divine Comedy, so this topic piqued my interest. I love the concept, and you’ve got a great writing style with some awesome visual imagery. I kind of wish you had incorporated just a little bit more of Dante’s world into your story, if only with little quips about the sinners in other levels of hell or something. I really enjoyed your main character and I think he’s got a great story going. I’m not a fan of the fact that you’ve got multiple fonts going on throughout the context of your storybook. Just choose one font and stick with it, because it’ll be less distracting if you do so. I wish your storybook had more exciting photos, or just more photos in general. You’ve got this great setting and an interesting court story going on, but I can’t fully immerse myself because there just aren’t enough photos with which to do so. I’m just really not liking the cursive font. It was fine on your coverpage in the small dosage, but it was really difficult to read in the larger dosage for your whole story. I’m not saying your introduction font was better, because bolded fonts are awful, but that cursive was not a good choice. Otherwise, I love the concept and can’t wait to read more!
Jake, I appreciate the clean, open look of your storybook. Some I’ve seen have used harsh colors and been a little difficult to read, but yours does not have this problem. It is simple, but it serves the purpose it is supposed to serve and suits your subject matter. I enjoy the image your chose for the cover page as well. I think you set up your introduction very creatively and your writing style flows very well and makes everything easy to read.
When I got to the first story, I was a little disappointed to notice a change in font. I think the font you used in your introduction was better, but if you want to keep the font you have on the first story, I was suggest increasing the size. One thing I caught, if I’m correct, was “stopped his heart in his tracks” should be “stopped his heart in its tracks”.
I thought the choice to tell stories through a courtroom setting was very unique and interesting. I also thought it was nice that you included some additional background information in your author’s note. I thought that information was necessary to understand what was happening in your story.
Reading the intro to your storybook, all I can say is that if you ever wrote a real book, I would so read it. Your writing style is amazing and I love how you made it first person! I don't know if I have seen that in any of the other storybooks I have read so far! I look forward to reading the rest!
In the begging of your first story, when one of your characters calls out to an "Obama", if you are referring to our current president then I must say I appreciate your personal input of his narcissism (if that is in fact your view of him). I disagree with it, but I can appreciate it! It gives us more insight to your main character. I still love how your writing style weaves everything together so smoothly. "I am the Jesus Christ of politics..." I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this line! I love how you keep the serious note of the man's judgement as well as throw in the comedy!
I can not wait until you have more! Keep up the great work!
Jake, I just read the Dante's Inferno unit this week so your storybook stuck out as one that would be fun to read as my free choice. I thought your introduction was great and I love the premise of this storybook. I think Virgil was the perfect character choice to be the judge and the description you give of the devil is amazing. The idea of Hell being a courtroom is fascinating and I’m extremely curious to see how these stories go!
I had never heard of Silvio Berlusconi, so I’m glad you clarified that up in the author’s note, but this was a fantastic story! Adding in quotes in Italian and using some of his actual phrases in your story is an impressive amount of work and it makes the story much better than it would be otherwise. I thought this was a great read and I appreciated it even more after reading your author’s note. I also found it amusing that the accused don’t even get an attorney. Good story!
Your second story was a good change of pace and I think you did an excellent job introducing the new character. I thought this storybook was going to just be 4 different sinners who are sent to various levels of Hell but you’ve gone much more in depth and created an entire plot, which is fantastic. I’m not very well informed on Italian literature but you sound extremely knowledgeable and I’m curious to see what the next story is!
I hope you're not getting tired of my comments, because I feel like I have commented on your blog every week since we started. It's definitely a compliment though, because I really do enjoy your adaption of Dante's Inferno. Actually, as I was reading your latest story, I was thinking that your storybook would make for a great TV drama. You've got some great characters in Judge Virgil and Attorney Alighieri. You've also got the relatable narrator in your intern. I say you pitch it to FOX or CBS haha.
I kind of like that your latest was a little more broad. It helps the reader realize that all of the cases would not be big names like Il Cavaliere. You would have to imagine that Hell's court would be busy sentencing a countless number of sinners. I also like that Virgil got a little sleepy. It humanized him. I also like that you introduced Giovanni Boccacio. I think his commentary is going to add a lot to your story. Plus, he's a great addition to your all-star cast for your TV show haha. I really enjoy your writing style, because nothing feels forced. It all flows very naturally. I may not be the greatest writer, but I recognize the good stuff haha. Your storybook really is enjoyable to read. It's one of my favorites!
Hi Jake, I really enjoyed your introduction to your storybook project. It setup the story well inside the courtroom and gave your character a clear purpose as an intern. You also sprinkled in hints of mystery with the minotaur. The introduction left me wondering what happens next and how the pieces you have laid out fit together.
I did find the font kind of hard to read. It seems like the ink color is sort of gray instead of black so that could be part of the problem as well. The contrast of the page and the text is just hard for my eyes to see.
In your first story, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to know what 'Ehi Obama" meant or not. If the reader is supposed to understand that, I would translate it for them.
I thought you did a great job of slowly introducing the idea of a court for the dead. It's a very cool concept that I think a lot of people wonder about. What happens to us after we die? This is an interesting interpretation of the answer.
It's very cool that you used real speeches as the basis for Berlusconi's dialogue. That makes the story seem very real.
I had picked up on the name Virgil as being from Dante's Inferno during the story, but your author's note really helps to explain the rest of the background.
Just read “The Master at Work and a Little Bit of Recess” and thoroughly enjoyed it. There’s a lot of great humor here as I’ve come to expect in your Storybook. A woman gets sent to the river Styx because of being a miserly coupon collector? Ha ha! Seriously, how do you come up with this stuff, man? Boccaccio betting with Charon himself was also brilliant. The whole concept you have here is just so clever and well-implemented. You’ve got to love the irony of all these people who get their jollies from watching others be judged for their sins even as they use the recess to profit from the defendants’ suffering. It’s a great idea to introduce Boccaccio as a source of commentary to Alighieri’s pupil (and us by extension), and based on what I’ve seen of his personality so far, it seems that he’ll prove an amusing character. The fact that he is capable of looking at Dante in a less worshipful way is good since it means his words will provides us with fresh perspective on the attorney’s character. Looking at your conclusion, you’ve really set your audience up for an exciting third story. Galileo just can’t get a break in life or the afterlife, can he?
Hi Jake. I am back for a second look at your storybook. It looks like you made the changes I suggested since the first time I came to your site. It looks great! I am really glad that you enlarged and bolded the text because it is a lot easier to read and enjoy your fantastic work!
I just read your second story, “The Master at Work and A Little Bit of Recess”. Of course, the writing was spot on. I did not find any grammatical errors or awkward wording. I like how to take inspirations from Dante’s Inferno rather than just retelling stories. You are really good at taking specific details and incorporating it into your own storyline. I also like how you are incorporating historical events into your stories. It adds familiarity and it is much easier for readers to visualize what is happening.
Also, adding Giovanni Boccaccio was a genius idea! After reading your storybook the first time, I did some research about Dante and his work so I know a bit about Boccaccio. Like what Kyle said previously, it is nice that you added Boccaccio because he is capable of viewing Dante in a non-divine manner. Great work and I am looking forward to see how your story ends!
In your second storybook project story, I enjoyed how you continued to show us the events from such a clear point of view. The way your main character grapples with whether to appreciate the justice of the situation or feel sorry for the way the sinners are punished is a very human way to process those emotions. So it makes your character easier to relate to.
You further emphasize his good character when you explain that he has refrained from betting on the criminal's sentences. This scene continues to make him more likable.
I was also glad that you addressed the man crush situation because I was beginning to wonder about that. Based on the descriptions of Dante, it was starting to seem pretty clear that the intern at least idolizes him if not more.
The introduction of Giovanni's character was very mysterious. But without a description of his character, I think that part was too mysterious.
What a cliff hanger you ended this story on! I'm sure it will be quite exciting to hear about what Galileo has done to land himself in a court like this one. It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the way he was forced to renounce his faith by the Christian church.
I am also looking forward to the history of Italian literature that you plan to add in the next story. I bet that will really help to flesh out your project and give a lot of background.
Hi again Jake, I enjoyed your latest entry into your storybook project. It follows suite to your previous entries and succeeds in the same aspects that made the previous ones such a good read. I thought the first paragraph was funny because your description of Virgil and his thoughts on the previous case remind me of my mom. She is a first grade teacher and when she first started she found the antics of her students amusing but after several years of the same thing over and over she gets exasperated as well. I could almost imagine this whole courtroom could almost be a circle of hell now that I think of it, because the characters that you have are stuck judging souls non-stop, which seems somewhat similar to having to walk around in a weighted cloak. I like how you ended your storybook already setting up the next story. It made me want to continue reading from where you left off, which is impressive to me because a lot of the time I get tired of reading all of these storybooks. I will have to make sure I come back to see how you conclude your story. Great job.
Hello, I finally get the chance to come back and see what you’ve done with the story so far. I’m sad there are only two stories here, but once again your cleverness is simply astounding. I love all the little jokes and references you add in. The first story was slightly odd, but a good way to get the ball rolling. I don’t know much about Italian politics (or politics anywhere, at all, period, for that matter) but you didn’t really need to in order to get the picture. I am absolutely in love with the poetry you threw in for Dante’s speech - it sounds like his actual poetry and is very well done. The Author’s note also fully explains everything that was confusing, which I really appreciated. The second story was really fun. The overview was a nice change of pace, and will allow for more in-depth proceedings in the last two stories. Your subtle references are really amusing, and I love the absolute depth it gives your little world. Like that little bit about Dante fainting at the drop of a hat. Good God, that annoyed me so much in the Divine Comedy. It’s even worse in the Vita Nuova however. Also, I just have to address the wonderful rant you go on about Dante’s way with language. Feels a bit like you’re projecting there, but no worries. It was really nice to have what I feel about his works so nicely put and so eloquently at that. I assume you’ve taken the Dante class here at OU, but if not I must recommend it. A whole semester on Dante with a great teacher - it’s so totally worth it.
Hi, again Jake. I returned this week to your storybook as a free read because I was so fascinated by your writing the first time I visited. I'm finding it very interesting to learn from your description of seemingly mundane courtroom proceedings the punishment given to a variety of a different criminals. I think its brilliant your using this method to explain briefly the different levels of hell as told by Dante. I haven't read Dante, but I've heard his description of hell is very complex and long winded so I'm blown away by the simplicity with which you are able to translate his vision. I'm also really impressed your character development as you describe Virgil and Dante and even introduce this new character. Though this new guy hasn't said much, I can tell that he will be an important part of your storybook and am anxious to see what he will contribute to the story as a whole. I really like the way you portray your narrator's reverence for Dante and his poetry. It really gives authenticity to the relationship between the narrator and Dante as mentor and mentee. Overall, I think your storybook is one of the more brilliant ones I've come across based on the overall concept of Dante's Inferno as a courtroom as well as the content with just the way you've chosen to go about telling each story. I look forward, as always, to reading more of your work!
I'm back again! It feels like I've commented on your storybook every week for the past month or so haha. I finally got the opportunity to read Dante's Inferno for this week, so I was even more excited to read about your spin on the scariest part of the Divine Comedy. I appreciate your story-telling even more than I did in past weeks, because I can really see how much you understand about all the nuance and intricacies of Dante's work. I was excited to see what you had to say about Galileo, and you definitely did not disappoint!
This latest story was probably my favorite of all of them so far. you're use of Giovanni as a commentator adds a lot to your story. I really enjoyed how you used him to explain how some sins are worse than others. Also, I really enjoyed your portrayal of Galileo. The way that he just seemed tired in death, because of how hard he worked and how much trouble he experienced in life. It definitely showed in how he responded to his punishment. Lastly, I am really looking forward to hearing about Dante himself being put on trial! Great stuff man!
Jake, I just wanted to thank you for your comments on my blog throughout the semester! I really appreciate your insight; your comments are thought-provoking and encourage me to think more critically about my own writing. Thanks again!
Thank you for the comment about my storybook. I actually didn’t notice that I rhymed, but sometimes I do that without meaning to. I am so glad that you liked my pictures! Overall, I thought your comment was really encouraging.
Hi Jake, I took a break off from the class earlier this semester so I am finishing up all the last points before the class is over. So here I am for the last internet assignment because I have always enjoyed your story book entries. Any way I liked your latest entry in your storybook. Your descriptions and word choices were again on point, and everything flowed very well. I also like how you have made all of your stories flow together. Most people, including myself, made essentially several stories pieced together and I really like how yours was one big, overlying story. I liked your choice to include Galileo in your storybook. His inclusion did a good job to oppose a sinner such as Il Cavaliere. I did like your twist at the end of the story as well, but I am kind of sad that you said that you will finish up things in the next story but I will not be able to see it since the class will be over by then. Any way you did and have done a fantastic job throughout this semester on your storybook. Best of luck on your finals and have a great break!
I absolutely love The Divine Comedy. I plan to re-read it over winter break. Naturally, I came back to reread your storybook at the end of the semester so that I could see how you concluded. Your introduction story reminded me of finals week and dead week - lack of sleep, tired, drowsy, etc... I really enjoy your writing style and the sophistication of your writing and syntax. Dante’s poetic speeches were probably my absolute favorite component of your storybook. I find every story you write to be captivating and the details you include in your writing (whether through the actual words or how the words are phrased) to really pull the story together and make it seem artistic. I thought your jabs at Obama and comparisons of his to Narcissus were funny and I like that you explain in your author’s note why you included those details, it really added a lot of depth to your story. You seem to be quite intelligent and knowledgeable of Italian literature, which is interesting. I liked your last story, but I desperately wish I knew what happened to Dante in that courtroom. If you expand on that in the future. You will definitely have to let me know!
Jake, I have not yet read your storybook, but I was interested in seeing what it would be like since you won “Best Written Storybook.” At first glance, your storybook has a great layout and all the navigations work perfectly. The font is a little hard to read, but it fits well with the layout: handwriting on paper. Your introduction is really well written. The first few paragraphs make me want to fall asleep, but in a good way. It’s convincing. I can feel the narrator’s weariness and fatigue. As the introduction goes on, I grow more and more interested in the story. It’s fantastic the way you incorporate Greek mythology into modern society. I’m really impressed with the first story in your storybook. It interesting the way you take a real-life politician and place him in your setting, especially so when you add the fact that you took real quotes from Berlusconi and put them into your story. The story is very creatively put together. It’s no wonder that you won “Best Written Storybook” this semester. Also, I really enjoyed the comment about Narcissus. Having him taking selfies of himself in the back of the courtroom made me laugh.
*Storybook comment*
ReplyDeleteSo, I just want to start out by proclaiming my undying love for this. I took a class on Dante’s comedia last semester and the allusions and clever little inserts are just sublime. This introduction is amazingly clever, and the title drew me in immediately.
The coverpage sets everything up nicely, giving a real sense of the official courtroom setting you’re going for. Also, notepad theme when it’s notes from an intern – very nice.
The introduction is pure genius. Love that the Minotaur is the bailiff, and DA – Dante Alighieri, I see what you did there! Very punny. And Virgil is the judge, classic.
I am, however, slightly confused at his speech. The third canto was for souls who aren’t getting into heaven, so is this like the actual gate deciding if they go to Purgatory or not? Because it was my impression when reading Inferno that for those who reach the third canto it’s already too late – no amount of repentance will get them out of it, it’s just a matter of what circle they get stuck in. The comedia does make a big deal about repentance and love but that mainly shows up when Beatrice comes at the end of Purgatorio to take Dante across the Lethe to Heaven. So the theme still works, but I’m just confused because it sounds like Judge Virgil is saying there’s a chance for those who repent to not go into Hell and perhaps move to Purgatory of something when I didn’t get the vibe from the third canto of Inferno at all. Anyway, rambling, sorry.
Notes!
“With eyelids laden with exhaustion” is a bit repetitive, could cut out the first ‘with’ and just hit it straight off at ‘eyelids’ – make the sentence a bit more active.
When one character’s speech lasts for more than one paragraph you don’t need to bracket all of them with quotation marks. You start each paragraph with quotation marks, but only need to end it with quotation marks when the character is finished talking.
Ex:
“I am talking of none other than that thing that makes no sense because it’s really late. This paragraph isn’t going anywhere.
“I mean, I haven’t slept for a while and things are really getting busy and yeah okay, I’ll shut up now.”
First of all, I am huge fan of your theme. Dante's Inferno is one of favorite works of literature of all-time. So, you had my interest from your title alone! I also really like the your idea for sharing these stories. The theme of judgment is prevalent throughout all of Dante's Inferno, so a courtroom is the perfect setting to use for your storytelling. Also, choosing to make the narrator a lowly intern is a really cool idea. I feel like you're going to get a really interesting perspective from that character. I'm sure that intern would be kind of in awe of all the famous characters that he would get to interact with.
ReplyDeleteYour cover page was great too! Where is that photo of Dante Alighieri from? It's a really cool photo, but it might add to your storybook if you had a photo that introduced your theme of the courtroom. Just an idea, because I really like your original photo. After reading your introduction, I'm really intrigued by the potential dialogue between all of your characters. I can't wait to read your stories whenever you get them put up. You last line just completely hooked me: "Court is now in session." Everything looks awesome, keep it up!
Hey Jake, I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you for all of the positive feedback you've left on my blog posts these past 7 weeks. While constructive criticism is always useful, it's nice to have people let you know that they liked a particular story you posted or perhaps something they read on the introduction that sounded interesting or demonstrated a common interest. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a great semester!!
ReplyDeleteJake,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cool idea. I've never actually read Dante's Inferno (I know, I am ashamed) but I definitely want to now. Despite not having much prior knowledge, it is still very clear and interesting. It definitely grabbed my attention and made me want to keep reading. I like that you're telling it from an intern's point of view. I think that will give it a really interesting perspective and really help set the tone. I definitely want to keep up with this storybook throughout the semester to see what else you do.
I really like your title page. I like that he is a law intern and your background is a notepad theme, very clever. The font actually reminds me of my friend's handwriting so it makes it more realistic to me and that's pretty cool. I think maybe adding a picture of a courtroom or some sort of law book along with your personal photo would be a nice touch to your overall theme. I love the simplicity of it all and having everything in neutral colors. It's definitely not too busy and distracting.
I think this is going to be a really cool storybook!
Thanks for following my storytelling blog posts and commenting often, Jake! I consider you to be one of the best writers I've read so far in this course so getting compliments from you means a lot! I plan on reading through your storybook and leaving comments in the future, and of course I'm going to keep reading more of your re-tellings as they come. I really love your snappy style and well-crafted prose!
ReplyDeleteHello, Jake! I just wanted to thank you for your kind comment on my introduction post. Maybe I'm being a little silly, but what you said ("One of the best compliments I can give a person is to say that they're interesting, and you certainly fit that label.") stuck with me. I consider myself to be a terribly boring person, so hearing that made me really happy. Oh, and my eyes thank you for having the greatest blog theme ever.
ReplyDeleteI haven't ever actually read "The Divine Comedy", but I plan to read the Dante section in the class at some point in the coming weeks. It should enhance my appreciation for your Storybook more. As it stands, everything on your site still looks excellent. The design looks good, and the content is well-written and creative. The writing itself is of course sharp as always, but in particular your humor in both the Introduction and the first story is top notch. I like how you’ve made good use of your knowledge of Italian to add a bit more of an Italianate flavor to your work. It’s great how you have also pulled from your knowledge of Italian history and politics and flavored your story with those elements. Your mixture of mythological characters with real life individuals and modern concepts is really well done and utilized cleverly and often to very humorous effect. This is no better illustrated than that awesome line about Narcissus taking selfies. Not only is this line absurdly clever in itself, but it’s also a funny commentary on how narcissistic we’ve become as a society (because there’s people out there that do precisely what Narcissus is doing in the courtroom). This is definitely the wittiest Storybook I’ve read so far, and look forward to seeing what new cases await D.A. Alighieri and his pupil.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake,
ReplyDeleteFirst off your site looks very neat and organized, it definitely stands out compared to some of the storybook sites I've been to. Also, the font choice works very well too; oftentimes the more fluid or cursive-like fonts are difficult to read but I had no issues with yours. The only thing I noticed that could be fixed for your site's theme would be to change the text font on the introduction page to match the rest of the site. I had issues with getting all my fonts to match also, the Google sites editing isn't the best. In regards to the actual content of the site, I was very impressed with your writing style. Your word choices and sentence structuring made your storybook easy to jump into and picture your story. Also, your author's note for the first story is very helpful because at first I was a bit lost at some of your political references such as Il Cavaliere or the Obama comment, I guess I need to keep up with politics and such a bit more. Anyway, great job with your storybook and I will definitely be back by to see what else you write.
This week I decided to look over your storybook for one of my extra credit readings. Your cover page is well put together, and when the webpage opens your image immediately caught my eye. I have not read the tale of Dante and the Inferno, but I have always been interested. Needless to say, I am very excited to read what your project has in store!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction has my asking myself many questions, since I have not read the original tale. Who is the DA, the Judge, the narrator? All things I am looking forward to finding out in your stories. You did a great job in describing the setting and everyone surrounding the narrator. Lastly, I am excited to find out who is this person (or thing?) that is being put on trial.
I really like the court room theme of this storybook. The elements of sin and last judgment are very clever and cool to wrap one's head around. Your author's note cleared up just about every question I had pertaining to the characters and the events of the plot. Good job so far, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Hi Jake! I just have to say, your storybook is absolutely amazing!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your website looks really good. It is simple and clean. The paper look of your storybook fits your theme of “Notes from Inferno’s Newest Intern.” The font in the introduction does not match the font in the first story, which I’m not sure if you were aware of or not. Personally, I think you should go with the font in the story because it is more consistent with your website, but make it bigger so it is easier to read. I found myself leaning in two inches from my laptop screen trying to read your story.
Second of all, you write very well! I like that you are writing in first person present tense. I feel like I am experiencing the same emotions and thoughts as the narrator as I am reading your storybook. You descriptions give a great imagery of the scenes and you don’t drag on too much about certain details. The dialogue you gave each character is so eloquent and beautiful!
Finally, I love the entire concept you are doing with this story! I only heard about Dante and I never Dante’s work thought about reading it myself. However, I am certainly more inclined to do it after reading your storybook. I love the parallels between your inspiration and your own storybook from the Minotaurs as bailiffs to Virgil as the judge. I also liked how you gave the “corrupt politician” a name and face. Not to mention, the fact that you added Barack Obama into your story. I found hilarious!
Your storybook is great and I will definitely be coming back to read more!
Whoa first of all, I love the layout you used. It definitely reminds me of note taking from an intern and I think the font you chose looks handwritten to so it adds to the overall effect I think you’re going for. Good job on that. I like that you chose the statue and the description particularly because it gives the feeling of the law and court system.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction is written very well. The description of his feelings towards the court and his personal thoughts and actions keep the flow going nicely. I was confused by the judge’s introduction since I wasn’t sure entirely where it was leading to. It leaves me with a cliffhanger in a way.
I’m a bit thrown off by the changes in fonts. The small print is harder to read. The character in this story seems so full of pride and narcissism. I see now where the theme of love from the introduction is introduced in this story. Corrupt politicians and sex scandals are pretty common. Your author’s note is a savior for these stories since it explains a lot more of the background. It really helps explain the connections and how Dante’s Inferno all ties together.
Hi Jake! You weren't in my storybook group, but you title grabbed my attention. Dante's Inferno is probably at the top of the list of thing I find super interesting, but know very little about. Your storybook really made me want to just dive into the Divine Comedy to read more about Dante's Inferno. I think it is absolutely brilliant the way you have approached introducing the different levels of hell - by allowing the narrator to witness the sentencing of different criminals to the various circles. I like the format you used, thought I found the text a little difficult to read. I like the liberties you took with characterizing your first defendant as well as the humor you threw in with both classical and modern allusions - I literally laughed out loud at the part about Narcissus taking selfies in the back. I found your author's note really helpful since I neither know very much about the Divine Comedy or Italy in general. I thought you did a great job of making everything, allusions, Italian phrases, pop culture references, really clear. I'll have to come back and check out your page again once you have some more stories. I can't wait to see who else you'll be sentencing! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake,
ReplyDeleteI'm back again to hear more from Judge Virgil and District Attorney Dante haha. It feels like it has been awhile since I read your introduction, so I went back and read it again. It was just as good the second time as it was the first! It got me excited to read your first story. Let me say, I am really impressed with all of the little political references and Italian sayings that you used. It really seems to me like you are enjoying writing about Dante's Inferno. You even had Dante give his argument in verse, which I didn't even notice until you pointed it out in your Author's Note. All in all, I'm really impressed by your writing style. I guess if I were to change anything, it would be the font. Though it gives a certain Renaissance vibe to the story, it was a little difficult to read. I might go to something typewriter-esque, because I think it would be a little easier to read, and I think it would go well with your courtroom theme. It's completely up to you though, it's just a thought! Great stuff man. I'm sure I'll be back again to read more about those hellish punishments.
I think you’ve got a really intriguing storybook topic. I’ve read Dante’s Divine Comedy, so this topic piqued my interest. I love the concept, and you’ve got a great writing style with some awesome visual imagery. I kind of wish you had incorporated just a little bit more of Dante’s world into your story, if only with little quips about the sinners in other levels of hell or something. I really enjoyed your main character and I think he’s got a great story going. I’m not a fan of the fact that you’ve got multiple fonts going on throughout the context of your storybook. Just choose one font and stick with it, because it’ll be less distracting if you do so. I wish your storybook had more exciting photos, or just more photos in general. You’ve got this great setting and an interesting court story going on, but I can’t fully immerse myself because there just aren’t enough photos with which to do so. I’m just really not liking the cursive font. It was fine on your coverpage in the small dosage, but it was really difficult to read in the larger dosage for your whole story. I’m not saying your introduction font was better, because bolded fonts are awful, but that cursive was not a good choice. Otherwise, I love the concept and can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteJake, I appreciate the clean, open look of your storybook. Some I’ve seen have used harsh colors and been a little difficult to read, but yours does not have this problem. It is simple, but it serves the purpose it is supposed to serve and suits your subject matter. I enjoy the image your chose for the cover page as well. I think you set up your introduction very creatively and your writing style flows very well and makes everything easy to read.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got to the first story, I was a little disappointed to notice a change in font. I think the font you used in your introduction was better, but if you want to keep the font you have on the first story, I was suggest increasing the size. One thing I caught, if I’m correct, was “stopped his heart in his tracks” should be “stopped his heart in its tracks”.
I thought the choice to tell stories through a courtroom setting was very unique and interesting. I also thought it was nice that you included some additional background information in your author’s note. I thought that information was necessary to understand what was happening in your story.
Reading the intro to your storybook, all I can say is that if you ever wrote a real book, I would so read it. Your writing style is amazing and I love how you made it first person! I don't know if I have seen that in any of the other storybooks I have read so far! I look forward to reading the rest!
ReplyDeleteIn the begging of your first story, when one of your characters calls out to an "Obama", if you are referring to our current president then I must say I appreciate your personal input of his narcissism (if that is in fact your view of him). I disagree with it, but I can appreciate it! It gives us more insight to your main character. I still love how your writing style weaves everything together so smoothly. "I am the Jesus Christ of politics..." I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this line! I love how you keep the serious note of the man's judgement as well as throw in the comedy!
I can not wait until you have more! Keep up the great work!
Jake, I just read the Dante's Inferno unit this week so your storybook stuck out as one that would be fun to read as my free choice. I thought your introduction was great and I love the premise of this storybook. I think Virgil was the perfect character choice to be the judge and the description you give of the devil is amazing. The idea of Hell being a courtroom is fascinating and I’m extremely curious to see how these stories go!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of Silvio Berlusconi, so I’m glad you clarified that up in the author’s note, but this was a fantastic story! Adding in quotes in Italian and using some of his actual phrases in your story is an impressive amount of work and it makes the story much better than it would be otherwise. I thought this was a great read and I appreciated it even more after reading your author’s note. I also found it amusing that the accused don’t even get an attorney. Good story!
Your second story was a good change of pace and I think you did an excellent job introducing the new character. I thought this storybook was going to just be 4 different sinners who are sent to various levels of Hell but you’ve gone much more in depth and created an entire plot, which is fantastic. I’m not very well informed on Italian literature but you sound extremely knowledgeable and I’m curious to see what the next story is!
Hey Jake,
ReplyDeleteI hope you're not getting tired of my comments, because I feel like I have commented on your blog every week since we started. It's definitely a compliment though, because I really do enjoy your adaption of Dante's Inferno. Actually, as I was reading your latest story, I was thinking that your storybook would make for a great TV drama. You've got some great characters in Judge Virgil and Attorney Alighieri. You've also got the relatable narrator in your intern. I say you pitch it to FOX or CBS haha.
I kind of like that your latest was a little more broad. It helps the reader realize that all of the cases would not be big names like Il Cavaliere. You would have to imagine that Hell's court would be busy sentencing a countless number of sinners. I also like that Virgil got a little sleepy. It humanized him. I also like that you introduced Giovanni Boccacio. I think his commentary is going to add a lot to your story. Plus, he's a great addition to your all-star cast for your TV show haha. I really enjoy your writing style, because nothing feels forced. It all flows very naturally. I may not be the greatest writer, but I recognize the good stuff haha. Your storybook really is enjoyable to read. It's one of my favorites!
Hi Jake,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your introduction to your storybook project. It setup the story well inside the courtroom and gave your character a clear purpose as an intern. You also sprinkled in hints of mystery with the minotaur. The introduction left me wondering what happens next and how the pieces you have laid out fit together.
I did find the font kind of hard to read. It seems like the ink color is sort of gray instead of black so that could be part of the problem as well. The contrast of the page and the text is just hard for my eyes to see.
In your first story, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to know what 'Ehi Obama" meant or not. If the reader is supposed to understand that, I would translate it for them.
I thought you did a great job of slowly introducing the idea of a court for the dead. It's a very cool concept that I think a lot of people wonder about. What happens to us after we die? This is an interesting interpretation of the answer.
It's very cool that you used real speeches as the basis for Berlusconi's dialogue. That makes the story seem very real.
I had picked up on the name Virgil as being from Dante's Inferno during the story, but your author's note really helps to explain the rest of the background.
Good job!
Just read “The Master at Work and a Little Bit of Recess” and thoroughly enjoyed it. There’s a lot of great humor here as I’ve come to expect in your Storybook. A woman gets sent to the river Styx because of being a miserly coupon collector? Ha ha! Seriously, how do you come up with this stuff, man? Boccaccio betting with Charon himself was also brilliant. The whole concept you have here is just so clever and well-implemented. You’ve got to love the irony of all these people who get their jollies from watching others be judged for their sins even as they use the recess to profit from the defendants’ suffering.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a great idea to introduce Boccaccio as a source of commentary to Alighieri’s pupil (and us by extension), and based on what I’ve seen of his personality so far, it seems that he’ll prove an amusing character. The fact that he is capable of looking at Dante in a less worshipful way is good since it means his words will provides us with fresh perspective on the attorney’s character.
Looking at your conclusion, you’ve really set your audience up for an exciting third story. Galileo just can’t get a break in life or the afterlife, can he?
Hi Jake. I am back for a second look at your storybook. It looks like you made the changes I suggested since the first time I came to your site. It looks great! I am really glad that you enlarged and bolded the text because it is a lot easier to read and enjoy your fantastic work!
ReplyDeleteI just read your second story, “The Master at Work and A Little Bit of Recess”. Of course, the writing was spot on. I did not find any grammatical errors or awkward wording. I like how to take inspirations from Dante’s Inferno rather than just retelling stories. You are really good at taking specific details and incorporating it into your own storyline. I also like how you are incorporating historical events into your stories. It adds familiarity and it is much easier for readers to visualize what is happening.
Also, adding Giovanni Boccaccio was a genius idea! After reading your storybook the first time, I did some research about Dante and his work so I know a bit about Boccaccio. Like what Kyle said previously, it is nice that you added Boccaccio because he is capable of viewing Dante in a non-divine manner. Great work and I am looking forward to see how your story ends!
In your second storybook project story, I enjoyed how you continued to show us the events from such a clear point of view. The way your main character grapples with whether to appreciate the justice of the situation or feel sorry for the way the sinners are punished is a very human way to process those emotions. So it makes your character easier to relate to.
ReplyDeleteYou further emphasize his good character when you explain that he has refrained from betting on the criminal's sentences. This scene continues to make him more likable.
I was also glad that you addressed the man crush situation because I was beginning to wonder about that. Based on the descriptions of Dante, it was starting to seem pretty clear that the intern at least idolizes him if not more.
The introduction of Giovanni's character was very mysterious. But without a description of his character, I think that part was too mysterious.
What a cliff hanger you ended this story on! I'm sure it will be quite exciting to hear about what Galileo has done to land himself in a court like this one. It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the way he was forced to renounce his faith by the Christian church.
I am also looking forward to the history of Italian literature that you plan to add in the next story. I bet that will really help to flesh out your project and give a lot of background.
Hi again Jake,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your latest entry into your storybook project. It follows suite to your previous entries and succeeds in the same aspects that made the previous ones such a good read.
I thought the first paragraph was funny because your description of Virgil and his thoughts on the previous case remind me of my mom. She is a first grade teacher and when she first started she found the antics of her students amusing but after several years of the same thing over and over she gets exasperated as well.
I could almost imagine this whole courtroom could almost be a circle of hell now that I think of it, because the characters that you have are stuck judging souls non-stop, which seems somewhat similar to having to walk around in a weighted cloak.
I like how you ended your storybook already setting up the next story. It made me want to continue reading from where you left off, which is impressive to me because a lot of the time I get tired of reading all of these storybooks. I will have to make sure I come back to see how you conclude your story. Great job.
Hello, I finally get the chance to come back and see what you’ve done with the story so far. I’m sad there are only two stories here, but once again your cleverness is simply astounding. I love all the little jokes and references you add in.
ReplyDeleteThe first story was slightly odd, but a good way to get the ball rolling. I don’t know much about Italian politics (or politics anywhere, at all, period, for that matter) but you didn’t really need to in order to get the picture. I am absolutely in love with the poetry you threw in for Dante’s speech - it sounds like his actual poetry and is very well done. The Author’s note also fully explains everything that was confusing, which I really appreciated.
The second story was really fun. The overview was a nice change of pace, and will allow for more in-depth proceedings in the last two stories. Your subtle references are really amusing, and I love the absolute depth it gives your little world. Like that little bit about Dante fainting at the drop of a hat. Good God, that annoyed me so much in the Divine Comedy. It’s even worse in the Vita Nuova however.
Also, I just have to address the wonderful rant you go on about Dante’s way with language. Feels a bit like you’re projecting there, but no worries. It was really nice to have what I feel about his works so nicely put and so eloquently at that. I assume you’ve taken the Dante class here at OU, but if not I must recommend it. A whole semester on Dante with a great teacher - it’s so totally worth it.
Hi, again Jake. I returned this week to your storybook as a free read because I was so fascinated by your writing the first time I visited. I'm finding it very interesting to learn from your description of seemingly mundane courtroom proceedings the punishment given to a variety of a different criminals. I think its brilliant your using this method to explain briefly the different levels of hell as told by Dante. I haven't read Dante, but I've heard his description of hell is very complex and long winded so I'm blown away by the simplicity with which you are able to translate his vision. I'm also really impressed your character development as you describe Virgil and Dante and even introduce this new character. Though this new guy hasn't said much, I can tell that he will be an important part of your storybook and am anxious to see what he will contribute to the story as a whole. I really like the way you portray your narrator's reverence for Dante and his poetry. It really gives authenticity to the relationship between the narrator and Dante as mentor and mentee. Overall, I think your storybook is one of the more brilliant ones I've come across based on the overall concept of Dante's Inferno as a courtroom as well as the content with just the way you've chosen to go about telling each story. I look forward, as always, to reading more of your work!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake,
ReplyDeleteI'm back again! It feels like I've commented on your storybook every week for the past month or so haha. I finally got the opportunity to read Dante's Inferno for this week, so I was even more excited to read about your spin on the scariest part of the Divine Comedy. I appreciate your story-telling even more than I did in past weeks, because I can really see how much you understand about all the nuance and intricacies of Dante's work. I was excited to see what you had to say about Galileo, and you definitely did not disappoint!
This latest story was probably my favorite of all of them so far. you're use of Giovanni as a commentator adds a lot to your story. I really enjoyed how you used him to explain how some sins are worse than others. Also, I really enjoyed your portrayal of Galileo. The way that he just seemed tired in death, because of how hard he worked and how much trouble he experienced in life. It definitely showed in how he responded to his punishment. Lastly, I am really looking forward to hearing about Dante himself being put on trial! Great stuff man!
Jake, I just wanted to thank you for your comments on my blog throughout the semester! I really appreciate your insight; your comments are thought-provoking and encourage me to think more critically about my own writing. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment about my storybook. I actually didn’t notice that I rhymed, but sometimes I do that without meaning to. I am so glad that you liked my pictures! Overall, I thought your comment was really encouraging.
ReplyDeleteHi Jake,
ReplyDeleteI took a break off from the class earlier this semester so I am finishing up all the last points before the class is over. So here I am for the last internet assignment because I have always enjoyed your story book entries. Any way I liked your latest entry in your storybook. Your descriptions and word choices were again on point, and everything flowed very well. I also like how you have made all of your stories flow together. Most people, including myself, made essentially several stories pieced together and I really like how yours was one big, overlying story. I liked your choice to include Galileo in your storybook. His inclusion did a good job to oppose a sinner such as Il Cavaliere. I did like your twist at the end of the story as well, but I am kind of sad that you said that you will finish up things in the next story but I will not be able to see it since the class will be over by then. Any way you did and have done a fantastic job throughout this semester on your storybook. Best of luck on your finals and have a great break!
Jake-
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love The Divine Comedy. I plan to re-read it over winter break. Naturally, I came back to reread your storybook at the end of the semester so that I could see how you concluded. Your introduction story reminded me of finals week and dead week - lack of sleep, tired, drowsy, etc... I really enjoy your writing style and the sophistication of your writing and syntax. Dante’s poetic speeches were probably my absolute favorite component of your storybook. I find every story you write to be captivating and the details you include in your writing (whether through the actual words or how the words are phrased) to really pull the story together and make it seem artistic. I thought your jabs at Obama and comparisons of his to Narcissus were funny and I like that you explain in your author’s note why you included those details, it really added a lot of depth to your story. You seem to be quite intelligent and knowledgeable of Italian literature, which is interesting. I liked your last story, but I desperately wish I knew what happened to Dante in that courtroom. If you expand on that in the future. You will definitely have to let me know!
Jake,
ReplyDeleteI have not yet read your storybook, but I was interested in seeing what it would be like since you won “Best Written Storybook.” At first glance, your storybook has a great layout and all the navigations work perfectly. The font is a little hard to read, but it fits well with the layout: handwriting on paper.
Your introduction is really well written. The first few paragraphs make me want to fall asleep, but in a good way. It’s convincing. I can feel the narrator’s weariness and fatigue. As the introduction goes on, I grow more and more interested in the story. It’s fantastic the way you incorporate Greek mythology into modern society.
I’m really impressed with the first story in your storybook. It interesting the way you take a real-life politician and place him in your setting, especially so when you add the fact that you took real quotes from Berlusconi and put them into your story. The story is very creatively put together. It’s no wonder that you won “Best Written Storybook” this semester.
Also, I really enjoyed the comment about Narcissus. Having him taking selfies of himself in the back of the courtroom made me laugh.